March 29, 2020

A Wizard Unplugged

A wizard is freed from imprisonment. HIs liberators demand his help in return for his freedom. They find out that he isn't "That kind of Wizard"

I fell awake with sand hitting my face and a crush of people around me.

A magical storm raged.  I put my head down to shield it from the sand and dirt.

"GET HIM UP!", I heard and I was rudely prodded.

"Wizard!", one yelled, "We have freed thee from the Fed Pris Unistana Amer, to do battle with this mage which creates this storm. Have ye no heart? Unleash thy magic!"

"Hold! Hold!", I cried over the sound of raging wind.  "I have not the knowledge to do battle. Nay! I have not the tools."

One of my hosts grabbed me by the throat.

"What kind of wizard are ye then!?".

I made myself heard over the sound of storm,  "I mostly work with businesses, people who need a plague of frogs, or not, or sometimes I get rid of the frogs.
I take small business requirements and turn them into magic. I am a wizard but not that kind of wizard".

"Fiend!" cried one of my hosts. "How shall we prevail now?".

I yelled over  the wind,  "Well, I could give you some names. They are very expensive but they are solid!"

The magical storm swarmed everything  and I used the opportunity to hastily leave my disgruntled liberators.  

After I  returned home and finally had a chance to think about my adventure and my very fortunate  escape from the Fed Pris Unistana Amer it occurred to me, "People just don't understand how magic works".