March 28, 2020

I am Sammy the Crypto-Atheist

A crypto-atheist is an atheist who doesn't feel the need to let anyone know. I will speak for myself from here on.  I didn't want to be an atheist. I fought against it. Once you let the genie out of the bottle , you can't put it back in.

Rather than go around telling everyone I am atheist , I adopted a more reserved attitude. After all, I envy the faithful. I am not going proselytize non belief. I am not going to try and take faith from anyone. What kind of dick would do that?

Other atheists might call me a coward. I don't care. I am not in their peer group. I am concerned about the feelings of my family and friends who are believers. After all, I wanted to believe.

One time I did let my crypto-atheism rise to the level of charlantism. I corrected that and it will not happen again.

I have led prayers as an atheist. I am not trying to trick anyone. I am paying the ultimate level of respect to other people's beliefs. Plus, what is a prayer going hurt anyway?  When I am out in the world and a prayer is being said, I will bow my head; I will hold hands if that is what happening. What is the harm in being part of a community? What is the harm of being a decent to your fellow man?

I didn't want to be an atheist.

You might run into me one day. I will say "God bless" if the situation warrants it. I will  lead a prayer if asked. I will not try to steal someone's faith.

I didn't ask for this. I became an atheist because I pushed a little too far in my thoughts one starry night. I tried to NOT be an atheist for years and years. The best I can do is pretend to be Christian because I can never actually be one.

Though I do not believe in an afterlife or Hell for that matter, in a way I am damned. I cease to exist when i die. There is no order in the universe. Everything is just a big unexplainable random event with no purpose.

You think that is fun believing that?  

It isn't all bad. I have learned to see the mystery of the universe as one of it's beautiful aspects. I am happy. I accept it.

I don't care about other atheists. I doubt many of them really understand what they are saying when they proclaim to be a non believer.

I am the only other author on this blog besides Harry for now at least. I am like Harry. I want to be heard. I want to be understood. I will make posts every now and then.

bye for now.