March 28, 2020

That Time I Crashed My Car Into a Cinderblock Wall.

The suspension in that car was really messed up. Once we hit the rail road tracks the car became uncontrollable. Or i just suck at driving.

I had this friend named Brent and in my memory what stands out is the time me and him got into some major shit argument downtown on  6th street.  This happened in the late 80s.

I will just tell you what happened. I don't care. I was in a club and just walked outside to see if anything was happening on the street.  I turned around immediately when I saw the street was empty and the door man would not let me back in. It was closing time.  Ok. No problem. Then these hot chicks showed up and the door man let them in.  I got really pissed off.  Obviously he could let people in.

When Brent came out of the club , the door was open and I punched the doorman. I am not exactly proud of this next part; Then I ran off laughing. I thought it was really funny. Brent did not. I had broken some Man Code that I was unaware of.  I had been sucker punched before and it was ok when someone did it to me. Why I can't sucker punch somebody. Plus it was lame punch too.

Me and Brent grabbed each other the collars. We start yelling at each other and throwing each other around as we slowly moved to where my car was parked. Now at this time in Austin , there was a chapter of The Guardian Angels. I am serious. These dudes with their red berets want to know if there was some problem going on. Brent and I both acted like we were just screwing around. When they got out of sight we started up again.

We get in the car.  The car I had 67 Buick Impala. It was an old car and they didn't make cars that well back then.  We were yelling at each other.  We got close to home and I was done listening to Brent. I started "SHUT UP. SHUT UP". On each consonant I slammed the gas pedal to the floor.  The sporadic acceleration and the bad suspensions caused the car to shake and wobble. We crossed the rail road tracks I lost control completely.  I calmly informed Brent that we were  about to be participants in an unplanned car accident.

The car jumped the curb and kept going a little and ran right into a cinderblock wall.

We jumped out. We were ok. Then Brent round housed me and knocked the shit out of me . I was unconcerned because obviously I was about to go to jail that night.

I was waiting for the cops to show up so I could go quietly.

My car was embedded in a wall. All the tires are blown. I had been drinking. Game over!

But you must understand, I have a semi-charmed kind of life.

A car screeched to a halt. Four UT students jumped out of that car. They said you guys gotta get out of here.

We got the car out of the wall. There was no time to thank them but I think they understood that.

We were close to home. I  took that ugly ass  home with 4 blown out tires and one headlight.

I couldn't eat solid food for about 2 weeks but I don't think I ever told Brent that. I didn't want him to know how bad he fucked up my jaw. Not that he would have felt bad. I didn't want him to have the satisfaction of knowing he hurt my jaw so bad.

Strangely enough,despite the bad situation , it was probably the most fun me and Brent ever had together.

Good times with good people.